Kolleen: Hey everyone! I hope this post is a sign that I’m back into the swing of things. Summer is winding down and things will be a little less crazy. Let’s get into episode 2 of MSCL, “Dancing In the Dark”, which is of course NOT the best Springsteen song ever (that would be “I’m On Fire”).
We open in class, where a bored Angela is ignoring a video about the vastness of the cosmos! She’s too busy lusting after the 3 boys who have kissed her IRL. One was a camp counselor who already had a girlfriend (Angela is a hussy!), one was an usher at a relative’s wedding who had kissed her because he lost a bet (harsh), and the last was a lifeguard who gave her CPR on Labor Day. Um, hello, if you’re half dead it isn’t a kiss.
Angela has never had a boyfriend. This is obvious because when JC walks buy she loses all motor control and starts talking like Rain Man.
In science it’s pig heart dissection time! Angela is sitting next to Brian and she and Sharon keep playing the “I’m looking at you but not really” game. I hate passive- aggressive behavior. Science is not the time to play “I don’t want to say how I feel so please read my mind.”
At home, Patty and Graham get into a fight because even though she’s his boss and they’ll see each other in 40 minutes, she wants a goodbye kiss, dammit. Patty has a lisp that, much like Scully’s from the X-Files, only comes out every so often. I really noticed it here. He kisses her but you know it’s just to shut her up.
It must be lunch time or class skipping time or whatever because Rayanne is beating the hell out of a fruit vending machine. Jordan comes by and asks how much money she lost and she says “none”. THIS is why I love Rayanne. She flies by the seat of her pants– why have the foresight to bring 50 cents to school for an apple when you can just beat the snot out of the machine? She asks Jordan if he can make Angela a fake ID ASAP and when he asks why Angela didn’t ask him herself, Rayanne says, “It’s a long story. She’s French.”
Rayanne gets Angela to bust out of class and Sharon is so disgusted with her, like it’s a mortal sin to skip a pig heart massacre. She’s even MORE disgusted when Brian covers for her. Jelly much, Sharon? You’re just bitter because you’re not awesome. Sharon and Brian get in a tiff and I think it’s because they want to bone each other. Real Talk: I totally WOULD Brian Krakow.
Angela is horrified that Rayanne went behind her back to get her an id from ~Jordan~. Of course she still wants to know everything he said. While she and Rayanne and Rickie are girl- talking Brian comes over to give Angela a hard time about ditching him. Angela’s VO says she hates when people who know you in different ways all cross paths, because you have to create a combination “you”. That’s so true, you guys. I felt this way at BOTH of my weddings. It’s weird to have friends in different circles all congregate in one area. It’s so much harder, of course, when you’re a teen. Brian demands Angela help him work on his apparatus. What a loveable dork.
Rayanne and Rickie come up with an idea that Angela hangs with Brian at his house, and they’ll drag Jordan to Brian’s and maybe they can do it on his bed or something. Rayanne assures Angela that “part of Jordan has part of Angela on his mind, probably”. She must feel great, knowing that. Angela laments having to obsess while Jordan can have “other things on his mind”. If you’ve seen this show, you know nothing is going on in Jordan’s mind.
Meanwhile Patty and Sharon’s mom are talking about the distance that has come between their two daughters. We find out they were BFFs too, so this Angela- Sharon friendship was obviously one of force. Patty considers cutting her hair short. SNOOZE. Men like long hair and and girls that wear red, but also variety. This is what parents go through? I assure you I am a parent and I do not have these sorts of awful conversations with my friends. They actually compare JANE SEYMOUR’s hair to her success. Then Camille (that’s Sharon’s mom’s name) suggests ballroom dancing to spice up the romance. If my life ever comes to this, please murder my face.
Graham’s younger brother Neil comes over to scrounge a dinner off of the family, they all make fun of Patty, and then he tells Graham he thinks their marriage is perfect. What an odd world these people live in. Then Graham really aggressively says he wants to do ballroom dancing after all. Angela eavesdrops on her parents and to her surprise they think she’s crushing on Brian Krakow. Amazing. They weren’t going to let her go to his house because it’s a school night, but since it’s next door they relent and tell her to be home by 9:30.
Angela is so excited she starts making out with herself in the mirror. Can we all take a moment to notice her Caboodle? I loved my Caboodle.
Angela gets to Brian’s and he is all annoyed by her lack of scientific knowledge. She tells him R-squared are coming over to bring her something and he scoffs at her. SCOFFS.
Graham and Patty meet at ballroom lessons and– HEY NOW *record screeches*! Patty gone done cut her hair. AND she’s wearing red. Take that, failing marriage!
Does Graham like it? His response: “Oh hey, it’s short!” File those divorce papers ASAP, Pats. The lesson begins, and they SUCK at ballroom dancing. The teacher basically makes fun of them to their faces. Their evaluation is that they rush and should be dancing with other people. Patty balks but Graham is like OH HELL YES. Then they embarrassingly fight in front of the instructor.
Rickie and Rayanne show up at Brian’s with Jordan, who causally mentions he may start a band with Tino called “Frozen Embryos”. Oh that Tino. Where is he? I want to see him. Angela has a meltdown over saying hello to him. She dwells on the fact that maybe she just wants an idea of Jordan and Rayanne tells her to shut up because the heart wants what the heart wants. Only she says it in a way that implies that Angela has a secret slut hiding in her soul. Angela goes out and gets in Jordan’s car. She thinks their having an intense moment when he hands her the fake ID. But! Then he kisses her and she pushes him away and he says “whatever”. BUT THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. She tells him he has to work up to kissing (?!)! Girl, just give him a handy and get on your way. He says she acts younger than 15 and talks too much. WOW, WHAT A DREAMBOAT. Or a possible sexual deviant. Whatever.
Rayanne and Rickie ask Brian all these questions about his weird mouse-experiment that proves mice can create pressure with their breaths or something, and he gets really annoyed. Rayanne asks him what the point is and he rambles off a bunch of science jargon which makes me think even he doesn’t know. Finally, he concedes that its for extra credit.
Back at the house, Neil and Graham have a heart to heart and Graham tells him he met someone. She hates him because she is so obsessed with him. They haven’t banged or anything but it may happen. He’s supposed to meet her at a motel tomorrow! Neil is anxious because if they get a divorce he won’t have anywhere to go for the holidays.
Brian finds Angela alone outside and she buggers off. Jordan pulls back up and asks Brian if Tino is there– what? Brian finds Angela’s ID which says she was born yesterday, not 21 years ago. What an idiot, that Jordan. He asks Brian is Angela is from France. I mean really. Brian gives Angela her ID back and she says she won’t take the extra credit.
Of course we have yet another scene of Patty and Graham fighting. They are drifting apart. She wants to know why they can’t even dance together and he says, basically, that she sucks. She then, in a fit of maturity, smashes her beloved Cinderella porcelain doll that her dad gave her. Smooth move, idiot. Somehow, this turns Graham on and they do it.
Post- coitus, Graham pours himself some Sunny D and heats up some spaghetti for Angela. He thinks she went on a date with Brian. Gross! He tells Angela teenage guys don’t have a grasp on talking to teenage girls. Patty comes down and ruins a tender father- daughter moment. So lame. Graham sends them upstairs and then calls his easy lover and tells her he can’t bang her afterall. Angela overhears. DRAMA.
So that’s basically it. I hope Angela and Jordan make out soon, the pressure is killing me! Thoughts?
Letty: I would have given Jordan a Western Style handjob in his car with no hesitation. Angela needs to experience the exquisite blend of pleasure and regret that comes from teenage sexual encounters.