An Open Letter to Pretty Little Liars

Dear Pretty Little Liars,

Temptress, delilah, enchantress,  JEZEBEL!  You have tried to woo me with your lustrous locks, beautiful waterfalls of glorious hair that cascades majestically down around creamy, nubile shoulders.  You almost convinced me to grow my hair out.  ALMOST. Having long hair goes against all of my natural instincts, as I am an adorable pixie, but this is hard to resist:

~~such hair~~

Could that be me?  Could I possibly have such divine, long tresses?  The answer is no.  It was always no Pretty Little Liars, and you knew it the whole time.  You had me convinced for months that I could have long hair and I know now that it’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.  You are as deceitful as A.

I had this epiphany as I was cleaning out a clog in the shower drain after a guest with lovely Rapunzel hair washed her glorious strands.  I was super grossed out and decided I just couldn’t deal with the clogs that goes along with having long hair.  I also don’t like the way that long hair sometimes creates a sort of webbing across the back and shoulders, as it gives me mad heebie jeebies.  This is not a problem that afflicts you Pretty Little Liars, only ladies that stand in front of me in the grocery store checkout line.

THE SPELL HAS BEEN BROKEN PRETTY LITTLE LIARS, the charade is UP, and I will be cutting my hair soon.  You have made me look like a fool.  I told people, I told EVERYONE that I was growing my hair out. IT DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT PAST MY SHOULDERS. It is not even as long as Caleb’s hair. Ironically, only now I have joined your ranks because I have become  a pretty (cute at best) little (height wise at least) liar!   My recommendation, feature a character with short hair, if only to appease me and your many pixie haired fans.

Have a good day Pretty Little Liars, stay beautiful and BE SAFE.




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