Update/An Open Letter

Hey everyone! We’ve been on summer vacation and the thought of looking at a computer makes us sick! But now fall is upon us, so it looks like reviews will be coming your way. Maybe a contest or two as well!

But this post is not to get your hopes up. This post is a call- out.

Earlier today, one of Kolleen’s friends posted this article, which is in itself an open letter to young girls everywhere that insist on taking scandalous selfies and plastering them on the internet. While we do acknowledge that the youth of today is becoming increasingly sexualized, what comes off as a caring and concerned voice of reason is really, upon further examination, slut- shamey and misogynist. And we don’t like that.

So here is OUR open letter to “Mrs. Hall”, who seems to really love to contradict herself by posting pictures of her sons half- naked in a post about keeping your clothes on (and then, of course, reposts the same article with different pictures because everyone called her out on it):

Hey, Mrs. Hall:

At first we were torn about your blog post. We agree that young girls shouldn’t feel the need to post half- naked pictures of themselves in order to feel legitimized, but then, who wasn’t a young attention seeker at one point? Something didn’t sit well with us when we were reading, though, and it goes beyond your weird decision to include pictures of your sons (half naked and flexing) on the beach. But hey, we have kids too, and we like to show them off, so whatever; everyone else already pointed out how silly that was.

Here’s our advice on how to deal with the fact that women exist in the same world as your sons: Maybe instead of just blocking the pictures you deem “provocative”, you need to have an open discourse with your sons about respecting women. This “boys will be boys” attitude is, quite frankly, crap. Just because you block the pictures doesn’t mean you are blinding them to provocative images. You can’t control what they see when you’re not around. Teaching them how to handle what they see and their emotions is key. You are very naive if you think blocking out the world is the solution. It is only going to lead to problems down the road.

The idea that “boys can’t control themselves, please don’t be sexually attractive” is preposterous. Do you think your sons will never see a girl who is attractive? Or sexually arousing? Do they stare at the ground when a pretty girl walks by? And if they do see a physically appealing girl, are they responsible for their actions towards them? Because news flash: teens have hormones, and they are going wild. The idea that men can’t control themselves is not only insulting to men, but contributes to rape culture, something we definitely don’t need more of. “Boys will be boys” is the worst saying that has ever been invented, next to “the customer is always right”. 

The idea, by the way, that women are not physically attracted but rather run on emotional connection is absurd and insulting. Is this 1950? You need to check your audience, because they are biased, bigoted, and disgusting. Some of the comments you received are shocking in their idiocy. Do people like this really exist in the world? Because that is scary.

You could probably do well to stop shaming young women who post pictures, especially if they’re old enough to make those decisions for themselves. Yes, our youth is sexually precocious, but shaming is never the way to get them to see that they’re not objects; in fact, it’s just solidifying the idea that the only reason women are on Earth is to be visually pleasing, like a prop. You seem fairly into Jesus, perhaps you should go by his example of “Love Thy Neighbor”, a golden rule most Christians seem so easily to forget.

They’re not your daughters– I mean we know they may stain your precious boys’ souls, but get a grip. We’re willing to bet your sons are very embarrassed by your helicopter- shame- patrol. We would be. And if you think men of integrity don’t linger over young, attractive girls, then honey, we just don’t know. And on that note, if they did have this “integrity”, you wouldn’t have to block the images, because they wouldn’t be interested.

Teach your sons respect, how to deal with women with respect and dignity. That’s all we can do as parents. This is not a man’s world. We are all equal. Stop whining about young girls and their selfies and have your sons write a 50 page essay on slut- shaming and the equality of women in today’s world.

Jesus Saves,

Kolleen and Letty

(along with several Facebook friends who contributed to this conversation)

We promise we’ll be back to making fun of Degrassi as soon as possible.


9 responses »

  1. Hey Kolleen and Letty – Thanks for articulating what was wrong with that post! It bothered me too and I wasn’t entirely sure just what my issue was – I mean, I think it’s probably a very good idea for people to keep their clothes on when taking selfies to post for the entire world to olge or laugh at or use as blackmail or….whatever. But as you point out, she’s setting a double standard and not allowing her sons to be decent men who can make their own decisions. She needs to be teaching her sons that rape is always wrong, and that means any sexual act without consent. Real men do not rape women or girls or boys or….

    I also didn’t quite understand how she’s blocking this girl and there are no second chances, but if the girl removes the offensive (to helicopter Mom) pictures then she can be friends with her sons???

    I think that girls have to try things out on their way to becoming women, and some of the things we do are pretty risky. I am certainly thankful that I was not permanently harmed by my teenaged antics (not to mention the 20-something years!) and sure, I’d love to have saved my daughter from the consequences of her acitons as she made her way to adulthood, but just as she made choices not unlike my own bad ones, she learned from them and it was an important learning experience. (Why are the most important lessons the most painful?)

    I wonder if what Mrs. Hall’s past was really like?

  2. Reblogged this on Word Grrrl and commented:
    Letty and I wrote this yesterday. In lieu of real content, enjoy this again.

  3. Reblogged this on Making Love With Her Ego and commented:
    Kolleen and I wrote this yesterday. Well, Kolleen wrote most of it, as I have seemingly lost my ability to compose my thoughts into words. If you didn’t read it yesterday, enjoy it today. If you did read it yesterday, read it again.

  4. She wasn’t teaching her sons to respect women. She was teaching them that only certain woman are deserving of respect.

  5. So awesome! Thank you!

  6. Can I get a “FUCK YES”?! This was a perfect response to that pathetic, disgusting diatribe of Mrs. Hall’s. Every time I see her letter in my Facebook feed from now on, I’m going to link your open letter. I never get riled up enough about things I read on the internet to actually take the time to comment on blogs, or argue with family members on Facebook, but her letter repulsed me so much that I’ve been throwin’ down for two days with anyone stupid enough to support her ideals. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take my bra off for my evening bedroom selfie. 😀


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