Category Archives: Ohmigah

Check Out What Our MORTIFYING MARCH Winner Won! Wheeee!

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Yes that’s an “upcycled” Birchbox box filled with some awesome goodies: Wet n Wild makeup, Lip Smackers, an incense sampler, a smudge stick, a moonstone, a lollipop, a Viva La Juicy sample, and a copy of My Super Sweet Sixteen– THE MOVIE. Way to go, L! And the Skins episode 3 recap is finally finished and waiting for Letty’s commentary, it will be up in the morning!

Night!

-Kolleen

 

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OMG More Mortifying March!

There is still time to enter our Mortifying March contest and win a Thirtysometeen prize box!  What’s in the prize box?  That’s a surprise, but know it will be filled to the brim with awesome on top of awesome.  Here are some more ~*embarrassing*~ stories to make your whole body cringe!

S writes: 

When I was in 8th grade we had this whole Middle School Graduation thing and our class president was in charge of making a video to show at our “senior assembly”. (I don’t know why we were so proud to be “graduating” from 8th to 9th grade, but we were). The class president happened to be a Hottie that I had a huge mega crush on. I was a super tomboy, played basketball, hadn’t quite figured out washing/styling my hair, but I still had a keen eye for the Hot Stuff when I saw it.

In any case, I was in the library doing something totally lame and nerdy when said Hottie approached me with a video camera to ask me questions for the video. GASP! He wanted to talk to ME about LIFE so I could be in HIS VIDEO! Obviously this was a huge step in our relationship. He asked me some basics – favorite class, favorite teacher – and then he asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
I have NO idea why I said it. I must have seen one too many episodes of Law and Order that year. But I said “I want to be a Forensic Pathologist”. IT GETS BETTER. He then asked what exactly that was and I said “It means you get to cut up dad people”.
YUP. I said that. To Hottie.
He politely finished our interview and I proceeded to my voice lesson where I cried (and I’m pretty sure that was the day my voice teacher told me my feet smelled; the very definition of being kicked while down). The best part? My statement made it into the final video. Not the “cutting up dead people” part, but the slightly more normal “forensic pathologist” part which was followed by a clip from Men In Black. SO THAT WAS GREAT.
R writes to us:
I was 13 years old and my friend Shannon and I were in a karate class.  We were the only girls in the class with about 15 other boys.  Well, as you know, the uniforms are white and wel,l I had a unwelcome visitor during class.  My friend leaned over to me and whispered to look in the mirror next time I did a kick.  Yep you guessed it, I started my period.  Everyone in the room had already seen it, I ran off the mat and into the bathroom, calling my mom, begging her to come get me. I was mortified, now I can look back and laugh, but it was most embarrassing.
OOOF.  We appreciate your submissions!  Keep emailing your submissions to thirtysometeen@gmail.com.  We look forward to reading your pain!

Welcome To Mortifying March!

There are still 5 days left in our Mortifying March contest! But we thought we’d post some of our entries* to get the ball rolling. The winner will be announced on the 31st and will receive a grab- bag (well, box) of cool shiz!

B write to us:

I was in love with this boy forever (TWO YEARS) but we had never even kissed. One time I told myself I was going to be really cool and 20 and drink with him. I was at the time a total lightweight so naturally I could handle 1 bottle of wine and half a case of steel reserve.

We are hanging out on his futon and he goes up to get to the bathroom. I am convinced this is the moment my life is about to change! Finally years of waiting for the love of my life have paid off!! I imagine our wedding, our children, our future.

Then I throw up on his bed.

Racked with guilt over how our children will now never be born I cover up the vomit with a blanket. I sit there until I realize this isn’t gonna work and then begin to cry. He comes out to see me in tears and I babble out that I have ruined our lives and everything and then reveal the gift I have left in his bed. He takes me home and we obv still haven’t made out.

~THE ARISTOCRATS~

J says:

As a preteen I moved to Plymouth for a school year. This was back when we actually cared to dress up the first day of school, and being a new student I had “the outfit” planned: a short black skirt, tights, a white tee & a jean jacket. Gotta love the 90s.  I got off the bus and head to my new school where I knew not one person. I walked with a presence of “hey I’m here, a city girl with my cool clothes”, walked into the main doors, noticed the other kids looking to see “who’s the new stylish girl”. I got a wee bit lost finding my homeroom, and walked in after most of the other kids got there. I noticed other girls looking over with a stare of “is she really” and the boys having big smiles on their faces. So my “swag” only got hotter.

I sat down and looked around, feeling very confident. That’s when the teacher waved me up and sent me to the nurses office, kind of walking close behind me, very unsettling. Having my confidence taking a blow & wondering “what the hell do I need at the nurses office, maybe some sort of checkup for being new” I entered the nurses office and she had a large moving box in her hand labeled “lost and found”. I was seriously confused. The nurse then said, “Go ahead sweetheart, have your pick, there’s bound to be something in your size”.  I asked, highly confused, “What am I looking for? I love my new school outfit”, doing a small twist of my foot, and looking myself over. I was mortified as I looked down at where my cute black skirt SHOULD BE. It wasn’t there!!!

I  burst into a huge cry-fest, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. After about 10 minutes of crying and having the nurse calm me down, I opened the door, walked to the moving box very confused and upset. I had started the day with an amazing outfit on!!

I picked a pair of jeans, I walked back into the bathroom, locked the door behind me, took my jean jacket off, and went to pull my white shirt up. There was my skirt!! It rose up into my shirt while riding the bus and I hadn’t noticed!!

I can’t remember how the rest of the day went, but my name for that one long school year was Granny, for “granny panties”.

 

Thanks ladies! We feel your pain.

Remember it’s not too late to be part of the contest. Email your stories to thirtysometeen@gmail.com!  Stay tuned for more stories as this week continues, as well as some reviews, we promise!

 

*Entries have been edited because Kolleen is a grammar psychopath.

MORTIFYING MARCH CONTEST

HEY EVERYONE! 

We decided to spice things up around here. It’s still March, right? We still have 20 days left, right? Well, we want your super embarrassing  stories. We debuted our new feature, Ohmigah,  a little while back, but for the sake of alliteration we would like you to send us your most mortifying stories for the month of March (can you tell I went to a writing convention this week?).

At the end of the month Letty and I will review all submissions and select a winner. Then we’ll send that winner a cool gift box filled with goodies! Maybe you’ll win a lizard necklace, or pages ripped out of a vintage issue of Sassy (yeah right, we would never do that).

So, send your stories/ pictures/ repressed memories to us at thirtysometeen@gmail.com OR post them on our Facebook wall. Whatever. Just get them to us somehow, we’ll showcase them, AND you’ll have a chance to win something.

We’ll have some reviews up later this week, so stick around for that, too!

Later!~

-Kolleen

 

OHMIGAH: The Degrassi Comic Con Disappointment

Welcome to a new feature here at Thirtysometeen, called Ohmigah, an homage to the columns in our favorite teen magazines , where our readers share their most embarrassing, traumarama, cringeworthy stories. Hopefully, they won’t all be about someone farting while talking to their crush, or getting their period while wearing a white suede mini skirt.

Our first entry is from  Jessica, it’s actually not that embarrassing (unless you find going to  Comic Cons embarrassing), but it is full of soul crushing disappointment:

Okay, so, I was attending a Comic Con in New York in 2007 because my boyfriend got us a free hotel room for doing a little reporting on the convention for a blog. Comic Cons are incredibly boring if you aren’t into that subculture or buying miniature, sexy Harley Quinn statues.

However, there was a Degrassi panel and my boyfriend told me Jake Epstein would be a guest. I’d been watching Degrassi: TNG for years, since I was a sophomore in high school, and I was pretty attached while completely aware that it was ridiculous. I cried when the Class of 2006 graduated. Craig’s insanity is one of my favorite things to ever be on TV, so I was jazzed.

Darth Vader gives Degrassi fans the shocker.

Darth Vader gives Degrassi fans the shocker.

I waited to enter the panel’s conference room with a couple 14-year-old girls wearing homemade Degrassi t-shirts, which wasn’t great for my self-esteem. Also, I was suspicious because they weren’t wearing Hell Hath No Fury t-shirts. Well, turns out Craig wasn’t going to be there at all. The special guest was Liberty. Liberty!! I’ve never been so disappointed. She did look really pretty, though. Not wearing overalls probably helped. I’m not going to discuss how long I waited in line to get a photo with her before I became too embarrassed to stand it and left, disgusted with myself.

Here is a link about the Craigless Degrassi panel, sadly it seems Liberty’s life was Craig free as well. http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=9482

Thank you for sharing your harrowing tale, Jessica!  You braved thralls of teen girls only to be left crestfallen with nary a Craig to be seen.  If you have an embarrassing story from your crazy teen years email us at thirtysometeen@gmail.com.  We really want to hear how your bathing suit top fell off at the beach or how you got ran over by a go-kart in front of ALL your friends at your 16th birthday party.  OMIGAH! TRAUMARAMA!