Tag Archives: recap

PLL S4 Ep 14: Who’s in the Box

Let’s see, where did we leave off?  I watched the Halloween episode in a bar, so my memory is fuzzy.  AH! I remember, last episode was kinda just like whatever, except for Hanna’s heaving titties, those were exceptional. Basically it was just an excuse to plug the new not as good show, Ravenswood. Later, Caleb!  There was a huge bombshell at the end of the episode that Alison’s is alive! Also, Ezra might be A!  That makes him even hotter if you ask me.

God, lots of stuff happened.  Anyway so Alison isn’t dead! Who is buried in her place? That is what the girls are trying to figure out.  Hanna has some theories and actually gets a gold star this episode.  She actually steps up and gets shit done!  She does get some points knocked off for pronouncing the word gazebo, gayz-bow, and for wearing really terrible pants during her crinkled cry face break up scene with Caleb, but overall, she was aces.  She actually did a google search for girls who may have disappeared near Rosewood around the time Alison “died”. She found a girl named Sara Harvey that vanished who was JUST LIKE ALI!  Complete with a set of friends just like our Pretty Little Liars.  Hanna sets up a meeting with a couple of the girls and the casting people get kudos for finding actresses that are just THAT much less good looking than the main actresses to really highlight their ridiculous beauty.

PicMonkey Collage

Pretty, but not AS pretty.

All right.  I am already behind, as the new episode aired yesterday and I haven’t even watched it yet!  I instead watched Now and Then with my lady friends, ate adult chocolate pudding soup, and talked about butt sex.  Don’t worry! I will watch it today, and the recap will be out by the end of the week.  RELAX EVERYONE!  Anyway, since I am so behind, I will just highlight some important points instead of a full recap.

  • I love how bitchy Spencer is.  She was outright incredulous that Hanna had theories about what happened with Ali, and I like it!  She looked really lovely this episode.  Bitch face really works for her.
  • What is the world is going on with Toby’s (Blackberry Mouth) hair?  I mean I get what he’s going for, but dude you are not pulling it off.  You look like Pat Sajak, in a bad way.
Pretty Little Liars, Toby

Nope.

  • For some reason, Emily told Paige that her and Ali had kissed and Paige got all butthurt about it.  Good.  I don’t like Paige.  I hope she is A and ends up falling off a cliff or something dramatic like that.
  • Ezra and Aria kissed! He wants another chance after she graduates from high school.  LIKE I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.  Is he A?  What is in that weird trap door thing in his friend’s house?  What is going on with Aria’s wardrobe?  Who wears this many ruffles to school? Alls I know is I hope Jake is out of the picture, because he was the most boring boyfriend in the history of television.

ariaruffles

  • This episode had so many sighs, and most of them came from Spencer’s dad, Mr. Hastings.  Do grown men sigh that much in real life?
  • During the episode ABC Family had different hashtags they wanted the public to use during the episode.  We created our own, #PLLSIGHS due to all the above mentioned sighing, and during a scene with Mona and Ezra, in which Mona really unsubtly hinted that she knows he is leading a double life, the hashtag was #MonaKnows.  Best tweet of the night:

It’s okay Mona.  We all want that D.

  • Sigh, Hanna’s pants, Hanna’s pants, Hanna’s pants.  I talked about them earlier, but here is a picture.  Is this the last thing you want your boyfriend to see before he has to go deal with supernatural shit in another town? No.  The answer is no.

hannapants

It’s no wonder that Caleb was crying all over his steering wheel.

And that’s all for episode 14!  I am sorry this week was a cop out.  See y’all soon with a full recap of episode 15.  Thanks to Wetpaint for the gif!

–Letty

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TWIST MY ARM WHY DON’T YOU. Welcome Pretty Little Liars.

I have been watching Pretty Little Liars for the entirety of its existence and have even re-watched seasons because I love it so.  Those girls are just so damn pretty, and SO SO dumb, that I cannot resist it.  But I have been reluctant to cover it here because it is a really complicated show, and I have little to no stick-to-itiveness, as evidenced by my lapse in The Carrie Diaries coverage. (It just got too earnest for me! I will bring it back I promise!)  Recently, due to the creation of the Pretty Little Drinkers (my friends and I watching PLL in a bar), I have had a change of heart.  I will now start doing drunken recaps of PLL for your reading pleasure.  They will not be overly detailed and may focus a lot on the girls’ sartorial choices, but IT’S BETTER THAN NOTHING, RIGHT?  Episode 1 of Season 4 coming soon!

–Letty

Teenagers forever!

Teenagers forever!

DNG S1 Ep 14: Under Pressure

Letty:  Welcome back to the exciting drama filled world of Degrassi!  When we left off some awkward looking Canadian preteens were doing some things and saying some stuff and being slightly annoying.  Sorry guys, I can’t EVEN  focus on the past right now when we are so close to ~CRAIG~.  Anyways, this episode starts  with that Canadian hunk of  a man Tracker quizzing Sean for his upcoming Media Immersion test.  Sean keeps getting the answers wrong and he is getting mad pissed.  He is so worked up he can’t even help his brother fix motorcycles properly. Between questions, Tracker mentions to Sean that their mom called, and  wants to talk to Sean about moving back to disgusting Wasaga Beach. Sean it NOT having it, he flips out and starts knocking shit over.  Now, I looked Wasaga Beach up on Wikipedia, and it looks like a really nice place.  I don’t know what Sean is so mad about.  But, this young man has quite the temper!  He tells Tracker, “You are not my social worker, okay!”, but Tracker, ever the good big bro, has some decent advice for Sean, “Keep your nose clean, get good grades, and everything will be okay.”  Tracker, man, what a dream boat.

dream tracker

More like, DREAM Tracker, amirite? What?

So, it is the day of the Media Immersion test. JT and Toby are stressing out about it when Liberty and Emma stroll up.  The credits aren’t even finished and Liberty is already being annoying.  She is wearing a floor length denim skirt, HELLO.  Even Snake is annoyed by her. She pulls out a pocket calculator to calculate how high her grade has to be to get an A+ in Media Immersion and Snake fakes hearing Mr. Radditch calling him to avoid speaking to her.  UGH FUCKING LIBERTY.

snake pained

I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

Emma and Sean are at his locker when Jimmy walks by and says some smart ass remark, which really isn’t that big of deal, but Sean gets all butthurt.  If y’all don’t remember, Jimmy and Sean have some bad blood between them that you can read about here. Down the hall Spinner, simple, simple Spinner is trying to impress Paige and waste time.  He yells at Paige to “Check this out!”, then just starts dribbling a basketball in a circle around her. He looks like a St. Bernard puppy or like he would make an excellent Lennie in the Degrassi production of John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”.  Spinner’s impressive moves make him and Paige late for class, and who does he walk right into?   Mrs. Kwan! HUWHAT?

It turns out her husband has finished his chemo, so she has come back to teach.  Just in time to give a test!  Oscar that weird extra kid who we don’t know anything about raises his hand and says he doesn’t feel well. It turns out he has the flu, and that gives Spinner an idea! Simple Spinner, do you really think playing sick is going to get you out of a test?  We cut to Emma and Sean walking up to his house.  They are going to study but Sean doesn’t want to study at his house because he is embarrassed.  He doesn’t even want Emma to COME  in the house and makes her wait outside.  My theory, Tracker leaves a lot of porn laying around.   Speaking of dreamboats,  Tracker pulls up and starts talking shit to Emma, because he is still mad about her editorial in the school newspaper.  This episode sure has a lot of callbacks to other episodes.  He is yelling at her and is all like, “You think you’re a good influence on him? CAUSE YOU ARE.”  WHOA!  HE TWISTED IT ALL AROUND! HE ACTED LIKE HE WAS YELLING AT HER, BUT THEN COMPLIMENTED HER INSTEAD.  It turns out that Sean hasn’t gotten in trouble since he’s been hanging out with Emma.  Probably because Emma is exceptionally boring and her  idea of trouble is writing a controversial newspaper article.  Emma wants to know more about this “trouble” because she is a nosy bitch, but Tracker tells her not to worry about it.

Sean and Emma are studying at her house.  She is trying to teach him some stupid pneumonic device to help him with the test.  Sean tells her that, “she is such a Liberty” which is a HUGE insult.  In response Emma tosses a dish rag right into Sean’s face. He playfully tosses it back, and she throws it back in his face, it’s all quite riveting.  In a playful tone Sean says, “You wanna mess with me? I’ll mess you up, I’m big trouble.” and Emma being the giant buzzkill that she is replies,  “Yeah, I heard.  Tracker said you got into trouble once”.  FOR GOD’S SAKE EMMA, just fucking be cool for once in your life.  It turns out that when Sean was living in Wasaga Beach he got into a  fight with some kid and permanently deafened him one ear.  Sean isn’t proud of what he did, he just can’t control his temper, but he claims to be working on it.   During this entire scene Sean’s earring is distractingly  prominent.  Emma seems pretty cool with all this actually, only because  the incident happened a year ago. OH YES,  like that is so long ago.

It is the day of test.  Sean is hella nervous.  The entire test is online, something that Snake seems especially smug about.  The students only have 45 minutes to complete the exam, after that they are SOL.  Elsewhere on campus,  Spinner and Paige are in class.  Spinner is yammering on about how he plans to get sick on purpose and Paige says she doesn’t care about his stupid plan.   For once I agree with Paige, I hate this subplot.   Terri comes in sneezing, so Spinner gets all up in her business trying to catch her germs. Spinner volunteers to throw away Terri’s coffee cup then runs his finger around the brim and licks it.  ~tres declasse~

Spinner gross

I don’t know what I’m most turned off by, this disgusting act or the tribal flames on his shirt.

Meanwhile, Sean is struggling with his media immersion test.  He is in the middle of  naming two file extensions, when the screen flashes that time is up. Sean didn’t finish!  To make matters worse, Liberty pops in like a fucking goddamn annoying popup ad, and screeches  “45 minutes remember, timed!”

Screenshot_4

MUST PUNCH

Sean is understandably  pissed,  he thinks he fails at everything he’s ever tried. Exacerbating the situation is Emma who keeps whining at him until Sean finally snaps at her and says, “Emma, don’t talk to me okay, just leave me alone.” then sulks away.  RUROH, Sean’s anger is starting to get the better of him, as evident in him punching his poor defenseless locker. Jimmy, with very poor timing,  walks by and starts  joking  around with Sean.  Sean gets all butthurt AGAIN, and is all aggressive towards Jimmy.  After an extremely heated exchange ::rolls eyes:: in which Jimmy calls Sean a FREAK (ice burn!) they start shoving each other around ineffectively.    Coach Armstrong breaks them up,  but it’s ON.  Sean yells after Jimmy, “I’LL SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL.”   I hope it’s a fight to the death.

drake violence

Violence against Drake is always acceptable.

It’s time for Mrs. Kwan’s test, and Spinner running back and forth down hallway, try to get his temperature up.   It works!  Mrs. Kwan feels his forehead and sends him to the nurse. Over in Media Immersion class everyone is gossiping about Sean and Jimmy’s fight after school. Why are they in Media Immersion class AGAIN?  Do they only have one class?  Sean strolls in late,  and Snake gives him lunch time detention.  Is that even allowed?  Does Sean not get to eat?  DOESN’T SNAKE CARE ABOUT SEAN’S BLOOD SUGAR?!  Over in the nurse’s office the nurse takes Spinner’s temperature. The nurse is a man,  which I think is very progressive.  It turns out that Spinner has a normal temperature.  Spinner claims that the thermometer is faulty, and the nurse says he has a tried and true method, and pulls out a giant thermometer and covers it in Vasoline.  Spinner exclaims, “I don’t want that gunk in mouth”, and in the creepiest line in Degrassi history the nurse says, “It’s not going in your mouth”. Spinner runs out and the nurse starts laughing, then presumably starts jacking off.  Back in class Mrs. Kwan tells Spinner to stop pulling all this dumb shit, and to channel the energy he expended making up schemes into school work. Mrs. Kwan is one sage bitch.

Well, Spinner passed the test.  YAY, who cares?  IT’S TIME FOR THE FIGHT! Sean goes to fetch Jimmy to give him a world class ass whooping.  Jimmy protests, saying “We don’t have to do this, it’s stupid”, and Sean retorts “No wonder Armstrong cut you from the team.”  DANG THEMS FIGHTING WORDS.Everyone in the entire school is mad pumped up for the fight as they follow Jimmy and Sean into some alley.  Emma is there being annoying and whining at Sean to stop.  Jimmy and Sean go right at it.  They start pushing each other, as most lame middle school fights begin.  Sean actually connects a couple of punches. Everyone is chanting “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” like they are at a hockey game or something.  The boys are wrassling, when stupid Emma grabs at Sean. In the heat of the moment he yells,”Emma get out of here!” (my sentiment exactly) and pushes her to the ground.  She is mad upset and runs away with tears in her eyes.  Sean calls after her, doing the worst James Dean impression ever. Man, at this point I accidentally rewinded too far and had to watch the whole stupid fight over again. UGH.

It’s the next day,  Jimmy is walking with his friends going over the fight, “Then the coward walks away after picking a fight and throwing his girlfriend to the ground.”  Ashley is still pissed and gives him the cold shoulder.  Spinner is in high spirits from passing all his tests, and that it’s the weekend, but UH OH he starts sneezing.  Looks like his plan to contract the flu actually worked.  SPINNER SHENANIGANS. Sean also passed his test with a B-.  He tries to tell Emma his good news but she just walks by and ignores him.  He pleads for her to stop, and we are treated with a very brief  Manny appearance!  He apologizes, saying “I should have listened to you, and I’m sorry.” Emma stone faces him and says “Yeah, so am I.” DAMMMMMMMN, that’s cold Em. END EPISODE.

DRAMA.  God, what an uneventful episode.  This was really a chore guys, that’s why it took me like two months to write this.  But it all leads up to the EXCITING SEASON FINALE, and then IT’S ~CRAIG MANNING~ TIME.

Skins S1 Ep 3: Jal

Kolleen: my GOD you guys. I have been so busy with grad school lately, I haven’t had the time to review anything. I haven’t really had time to watch anything, either. I am woefully behind on Degrassi! Life is hard 😦

Anyway let’s get to this! As always, the episode’s music can be found here. And check out the Unseen Skins link at the bottom– I have gone back to our old reviews, too, to add in the Unseen Skins links that correspond to each episode. It wasn’t something I thought to do before, and I apologize!

jal

We open with Jal practicing her clarinet. Or flute. What is it? I forget…It’s a clarinet. She’s playing with the school orchestra and her teacher is very colorful with her language, which cracks me up. Doug comes in and says there have been some complaints with the orchestra, that there’s too much swearing. Oh piss off, Doug. You’re a downer sometimes.

Ew, then we cut right into a scene where Tony and Michelle are sloppily making out in front of Jal and Effy. It’s gross. They sound like two pigs eating at a trough. Jal is upset because Michelle is ignoring their plans for shopping; Michelle wants to run upstairs for a quickie, but Jal needs a new dress for her upcoming music competiton, Young Musician of the Year! Effy eloquently demonstrates what will be happening upstairs:

effy beej

Have at it, kiddos.

Jal goes to leave, but when she opens the door Sid is there. “Is Tony in?” he asks. “Pretty much,” Jal replies, as Michelle squeals from upstairs. Jal drags Sid along with her to dress- shop, which I’m sure he is very excited about. I get the feeling that Jal is not a girly girl, because she has a very difficult time finding something to wear. This is something I can identify with, as I feel like my style is pretty all over the place. Sid gets all awkward about helping her zip up, and Jal laments about having to wear a dress at all. Then Sid zippers his finger by mistake, and they make a bunch of sounds that seem like sex– “Oh, let me get a hold of it,” Jal says. SCANDALOUS. Later in the mall, he tells her a stupid sexual fantasy he has about Michelle. WHY?? I just don’t get it.

We have a scene where Jal plays her clarinet. It’s nice, but this isn’t my favorite episode. Ten minutes in and I think of how I could be working on my research paper (25 pages!). Anyway, it’s ok, because Jal is interrupted by her dumb brothers and their dumb friend rapping. See, Jal’s dad is a super famous rap star, and he has created idiots who do not care about their sister’s aspirations! She tells them to STFU. Luckily, this scene takes up 2 minutes of my time. Jal goes to talk to her dad and he says the brothers need practice too– his lackeys say they need lots of practice because “those pussies are BAD”. True. Jal’s dad is very busy entertaining some dopey white broad. Jal’s dad calls the clarinet “rooty tooty” music and asks if she likes dancing for whitey. Whatever, DAD. Also Jal insists her dress is green. It’s brown. Is Jal color blind? She passively aggressively calls Michelle and gets all mad. She sneaks down to the studio to listen to the white chick sing about strawberries and cream, and it is EMBARRASSINGLY bad.

At breakfast the next morning, Jal throws some serious shade at Alicia, the white girl who is dumb as hell. Even the brothers, whose names I keep forgetting– one is Ace?– are mad, because she’s sitting in their absent mother’s seat. Where is Jal’s mom? Why has she left Jal alone, with no one to dress- shop with?

At school, Jal is sent to the dean’s office, where she is told to play up her “handicaps”– basically they want to use her as a minority to get a grant. Pretty rotten. They have a checklist of things for her to say, and Jal is not having it. She dresses like a slob for her interviews, and she answers “no” to everything (“Your parents must be proud of you?”), thereby extending a PA middle finger to the school. Michelle chastises her for not looking good or making an effort. She at least is nice enough to tell Jal her dress is ugly and let her borrow a new one.

That night, Jal’s dad throws a party. The boys try to get it, but the bouncers tell them to fuck off because it’s 21+. One of them even has a snake for some reason! Jal lets the guys in though, because she’s a nice person. And look how pretty she looks!

jaljugs

Even Maxxie can’t stop looking at Jal’s physique, and he’s gay! Chris says he will simply DIE if he doesn’t get to touch her jugs. Boys are so subtle. And trust me, Michelle is put off by all the extra attention that Jal is receiving; after all, she did say “you play clarinet, I look shaggable”. Rude. It doesn’t help that Tony is talking to Abigail in the other room– why is she there? Michelle turns to Sid for comfort, and tells him that she knows he wants her, but she loves him like a brother. Sid is pretty crushed. ~Cassie~ shows up with a pint for him, because she is a sweetheart that no one appreciates. He chugs the pint, burps a bunch, and leaves. Great (BTW: has anyone seen/noticed Cassie AND Chris on Game of Thrones? It  makes me very excited!) .

Oh. Wow.

Oh. Wow.

Jal’s brothers put on a little rap performance. It is horrendous. Jal’s dad puts a stop to it pretty quickly, thankfully. A dance party commences, and while Michelle is dancing poorly, Jal spies Tony being… well, Tony.

tony jal

OH MAH GUH

After the party, Jal sits on a couch with Sid, holds his hand, and puts her head on his shoulder. She tells him she is comforting him, and tells him that everyone knows he has a thing for Michelle but to let her go. Then some squid asks Jal to join him for a drink up the road. She declines, but he says Sid can come along so they agree. They leave, but as they round the corner into an alley… they are jumped by the Mad Twatter (and crew)! It was all a set up! He informs Sid that the creepy guy, William, has been following him because he owes Mad so much money! They take Sid’s money and Jal’s clarinet. Then, in one of the show’s odder turns, he begins to play the clarinet.

And he's pretty goddamned good!

And he’s pretty goddamned good!

Then he smashes it, because he is a wasteful idiot. They walk away, and Jal starts yelling. Sid tries to comfort her, but in doing so, her brothers (+ friend) think that he is raping her or something, and they jump him. She clears it up, but not before basically breaking Sid’s nose. Poor Sid.

Jal has to talk to her teacher (Claire) about cancelling her performance. The scene cuts to Claire, who is… wait for it… IN BED WITH DOUG! Scandalous! We learn that Jal’s brothers were all beaten to the point of being hospitalized by Mad and his men. They are proud for sticking up for their sister, and Michelle kisses them in gratitude.

In the studio, Jal’s dad, who I think is named Ronnie?, speaks to her brother on the phone, telling him he loves them all– even the white kid. Then, he raps:

I’m inspired. I’m offline.
A renegade disturbing the peace while I’m spitting a serenade.
All this tension, miscomprehension.
I’m informed and on the level
that I might mention that when I scream it’s just passion.
I ain’t angry at culture, I ain’t angry at fashion.
And I might feel spiteful if I feel shit’s epidemic.
I admit that some is soul but some is academic.
I been doing this forever, so why you choosing now?
Turning your face away is a punch in the gut. Pow!
So swing a rhyme of time like the dove sing of love.
And keep your peace, cuz I got kin;
I got skin to think of.

Is it just me or is Jal's dad hot?

Is it just me or is Jal’s dad hot?

He then notices Jal listening and gets upset. She asks him why he hasn’t asked her if she is okay. She says it’s not her fault she looks like her mother, which is why she feels he pushes her away. He tells her to go tidy her room, which she doesn’t understand because Jal’s room is never messy– she’s not like that. She goes up to her room to find a beautiful new clarinet. Teary eyed and emotional, she puts it together.

She makes it to her recital, and as she prepares to play, we see Mad being forced into Ronnie’s car, presumably to be killed.

Well, that’s it folks. I know this wasn’t a funny recap, but it really wasn’t too funny of an episode. And I know we usually have the thoughts and/ or fashions from the episodes, but to be honest, there were NO fashions that were worth linking this episode, and I didn’t have many thoughts about it; it was not the best episode. Jal’s dad buying her a clarinet was nice, but that’s about it. Maybe the next episode will have some good songs and fashions for me to talk about.

However, the Unseen Skins for this episode is pretty hilarious. What do you think?

I promise it won’t take so long for our next review! Toodles!

Letty: Two things– ~~EFFY~~ and Jal’s dad is definitely hot, I would smash that with the quickness.

Skins Series 1 Ep 1: Tony

Kolleen: Look, I’m happy to report that Skins (UK, obv) won in our reader poll and will be the next show we are focusing on (besides Degrassi, of course). And look, I’m also happy to tell you that you can watch Skins on Netflix Instant, but I am going to warn you: the music is all jacked up. I mean, in my opinion the music makes the show, and because of licensing shizz, they had to change a lot of it. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to watch Katie’s episode in series 4 and realizing that “A Promise” by Broken Records isn’t there anymore. As a huge Skins fan… well, I’m not telling you to seek other ways to watch the show, but I am telling you that’s how I watched it. (This site is handy for keeping track of the music in the show).

That being said, I am VERY EXCITED to recap Skins, because it’s probably my favorite show in the history of all time. So let’s get on with it, shall we?

Oh Tony. Tony Tony Tony. You are so good looking, waking up for school in your underwear,working out in your underwear, watching your neighbor get nekkid in front of her window in your underwear, helping your little sister Effy get back into the house after a night of sluttin’ it up in your underwear. You’re only young once!

Meow.

Meow.

After a morning of fucking with his father, Tony’s off to school, ringing his friend Sid (who doesn’t answer), Chris (who doesn’t answer), Jal (who is busy playing clarinet) and his girlfriend Michelle, who he affectionately calls “Nips”.   He calls Sid again.  He calls Anwar and interrupts his morning prayer. He calls Maxxie who is adorably tap- dancing. Who doesn’t he call? We’ve basically met everyone on the show in the first ten minutes. British people are efficient.

Can we talk about Michelle for a minute? She’s like #1 Dream Girl on this show. I don’t get it. She has a miserable personality and she’s not even that hot. Someone explain this to me.

UGH

UGH

Anyway, the agenda for the day is to help Sid, Tony’s BFF, get laid. He can’t be Tony’s friend if he’s still a virgin at 17! That’s just embarrassing, am I right? Michelle has agreed to “help”, which seems very off putting for a number of reasons. And of course they all have to meet at a cafe to talk about it instead of letting it all progress the natural way: by getting drunk and felt up in the back of a movie theater. I never had friends so invested in my virgin- status, so I guess either Sid is very fortunate or I am very fortunate, depending on how you look at it. Tony berates Sid for a while, and then implies that he’ll get to bone Michelle, because for some reason Michelle is Sid’s dream girl. Ugh. He gets really excited, but Michelle comes in and halfheartedly makes out with Tony (seriously, I’ve kissed apples with more passion) and Sid realizes there has been a misunderstanding. Michelle offers up Cassie (“out of the hospital, not allowed to handle knives” to be Sid’s woman- of- the- night. They’ll need a lot of drugs for the party they’re going to (and to adequately get Cassie messed up enough to do Sid) so Tony suggests Sid buy an ounce of spliff (that’s marijuana).

Tony then goes to a choir rehearsal at an all girls’ school. Apparently they only need one guy. He sings well and all the ladies are gaga for him.Especially one girl with an indecipherable accent (she pronounces “friends” and “frawhndzz” which is, I’m pretty sure, not a word). Her house is the location for the party tonight! She reminds Tony to bring his frawhndzz! He leaves, giving the French teacher a healthy dose of sass mouth. Cheeky bastard! He then meets up with his friends at the quad, where they discuss the finer points of life– watching tv vs taking pills (why not both?). But no one wants to come to the party! Sid doesn’t need the ounce! Oh no.

Sid arrived at the weed dealer’s house. It is also some sort of brothel. Why he doesn’t just bang these chicks and get this whole charade over with is beyond me.  One of these prostitutes warns Sid not to stare. Sid is also ignoring his text messages. Enter Madison Twatter, PHD (Pretty Huge… well, you get it).

Are you staring at ME? Yes, your 'stache is ridic

Are you staring at ME?
Yes, your ‘stache is ridic

After some pretty threatening dialogue, Mad sells Sid some weed on credit. 3 OUNCES. 48 hours to pay him back. Sid is definitely in over his head. Mad says if he doesn’t come through he’s going to cut off Sid’s nuts! That’s “mad” indeed. When Tony and Sid meet up, Sid realizes he has about 100 missed calls telling him to abort the mission. What a chump.

In class, Jal is reading a report on the stages of grief as their teacher, Angie, sobs like a fool. Everyone is totes uncomfortable. Chris tries to make her feel better in his ineloquent way. Angie tries to hold it together but you can tell that science teacher or whatever really messed her up good. See, it isn’t just the teens that have ~drama~! Chris really has googly eyes for Angie. It’s very sweet. He even tells Angie’s ex to stop calling her! I can tell there is an inappropriate relationship budding here. Angie looks a lot like Katy Perry, so you have to wonder.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh

That night, Sid and Tony show up at that snooty girl’s mansion (Abigail, her name is!). They really need to dump this weed. Michelle shows up too, and who does she have with her?

~*CASSIE*~

Beautiful, etheral, fucked- up Cassie, Angel of the Morning, Light of My Life. I love Cassie to PIECES.

OH, WOW! LOVELY!

OH, WOW! LOVELY!

Cassie is out of treatment for her obvious insanity and ready to PARTY! Cassie is here to rock Sid’s world. They enter the party and are immediately told to take of their shoes as to not ruin the imported Iranian carpet. I would immediately pee all over it, but these Bristol kids are so much nicer than me. Cassie beelines for the kitchen. This party is the PITS. Everyone is named Sarah, for one. Can’t trust a Sarah. Tony tries to unload the unbearable burden of pot onto these snobs, but unfortunately they are not allowed to smoke in the house– Roman silk wallpaper, natch. Horrible djing commences. Everyone dances like white people.

Sid finds Cassie rearranging the kitchen shelves, saying none of the food is organized properly. This was actually the scene that I first saw a picture of– the scene that got me into Skins.

cassie2

Sid offers her some pot and she declines, saying it will make her hungry. He says he doesn’t mind, and she says she does. Cassie is anorexic 😦 Then they talk about banging. It’s all very oddly sweet.

At Big Gay Night out, Chris and Anwar are bored. They decide to bail, along with Maxxie, to find the party. They arrive at daybreak! And they don’t even take off their shoes when they come in! Outside you hear sex sounds, but don’t worry, it’s just Cassie jumping on the trampoline.

Tramobaline! Trumbumpaline!

Tramobaline! Trumbumpaline!

She invites Sid to jump, too. They share a kiss, and then Cassie tells him she knows he really loves Michelle– Michelle told her! Women, amirite? Then they hold hands and it’s really cute. He asks her what she would do if everything was so effed up and there was no way to fix it, and she says she would stop eating until they take her to the hospital. Girl, I’ve been there. She asks if he wants to do it now, but tells him they have to be quick because she took some pills. Then she passes out.

Fearing she’s dead, Sid freaks, everyone bails but realizes they have  no way to get to the hospital. But Lo! A Portuguese angel disguised as an exchange student offers a soltion to Chris, whom she fancies: “We steal car!” After that they can do it.

We Steal Car!

We Steal Car!

A mad dash to the hospital ensues, Chris and the Portuguese chick basically banging in the back.  Just as they pull up to the hospital, Cassie wakes up. “I’ve had such a lovely dream” she says. Annoyed, they drive off.

They stop at a pier to smoke up, and Tony reassures Sid that they will sell the spliff tomorrow. As Anwar pees on a tree, someone asks who’s got the skins– ah! The show’s name! ROLLING PAPERS. Cheeky kids. As they search the car, Sid hits the shift knob (is that what they’re called? I am a girl, I don’t know) and the car rolls into the pier with everyone except Anwar in it! I think it’s because he was nice enough to pray that other morning. Don’t worry, though… everyone emerges unscathed… everyone except the weed, of course.

Actually, if they had stuck around, they would have seen the weed float back up. Some fisherman is going to have a great day!

Sid is still a virgin, and his balls are in jeopardy. What is going to happen? You’ll have to stick around to find out.

Man I love Skins. I just love it so much.

Edit: This is the Unseen Skins for this episode! Watch it and learn, buckos.

Letty: AGGGGH I love Skins too!  That sticky thing in the car is called a gear shift, Kolleen.  I know your credo is WWCD (what would Cassie do) as mine is WWED (what would Effy do), and Cassie wouldn’t know that was called a gear shift either.  Gotta love those ~*crazy*~ gals.