Tag Archives: teenagers

PLL S4 Ep 14: Who’s in the Box

Let’s see, where did we leave off?  I watched the Halloween episode in a bar, so my memory is fuzzy.  AH! I remember, last episode was kinda just like whatever, except for Hanna’s heaving titties, those were exceptional. Basically it was just an excuse to plug the new not as good show, Ravenswood. Later, Caleb!  There was a huge bombshell at the end of the episode that Alison’s is alive! Also, Ezra might be A!  That makes him even hotter if you ask me.

God, lots of stuff happened.  Anyway so Alison isn’t dead! Who is buried in her place? That is what the girls are trying to figure out.  Hanna has some theories and actually gets a gold star this episode.  She actually steps up and gets shit done!  She does get some points knocked off for pronouncing the word gazebo, gayz-bow, and for wearing really terrible pants during her crinkled cry face break up scene with Caleb, but overall, she was aces.  She actually did a google search for girls who may have disappeared near Rosewood around the time Alison “died”. She found a girl named Sara Harvey that vanished who was JUST LIKE ALI!  Complete with a set of friends just like our Pretty Little Liars.  Hanna sets up a meeting with a couple of the girls and the casting people get kudos for finding actresses that are just THAT much less good looking than the main actresses to really highlight their ridiculous beauty.

PicMonkey Collage

Pretty, but not AS pretty.

All right.  I am already behind, as the new episode aired yesterday and I haven’t even watched it yet!  I instead watched Now and Then with my lady friends, ate adult chocolate pudding soup, and talked about butt sex.  Don’t worry! I will watch it today, and the recap will be out by the end of the week.  RELAX EVERYONE!  Anyway, since I am so behind, I will just highlight some important points instead of a full recap.

  • I love how bitchy Spencer is.  She was outright incredulous that Hanna had theories about what happened with Ali, and I like it!  She looked really lovely this episode.  Bitch face really works for her.
  • What is the world is going on with Toby’s (Blackberry Mouth) hair?  I mean I get what he’s going for, but dude you are not pulling it off.  You look like Pat Sajak, in a bad way.
Pretty Little Liars, Toby

Nope.

  • For some reason, Emily told Paige that her and Ali had kissed and Paige got all butthurt about it.  Good.  I don’t like Paige.  I hope she is A and ends up falling off a cliff or something dramatic like that.
  • Ezra and Aria kissed! He wants another chance after she graduates from high school.  LIKE I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.  Is he A?  What is in that weird trap door thing in his friend’s house?  What is going on with Aria’s wardrobe?  Who wears this many ruffles to school? Alls I know is I hope Jake is out of the picture, because he was the most boring boyfriend in the history of television.

ariaruffles

  • This episode had so many sighs, and most of them came from Spencer’s dad, Mr. Hastings.  Do grown men sigh that much in real life?
  • During the episode ABC Family had different hashtags they wanted the public to use during the episode.  We created our own, #PLLSIGHS due to all the above mentioned sighing, and during a scene with Mona and Ezra, in which Mona really unsubtly hinted that she knows he is leading a double life, the hashtag was #MonaKnows.  Best tweet of the night:

It’s okay Mona.  We all want that D.

  • Sigh, Hanna’s pants, Hanna’s pants, Hanna’s pants.  I talked about them earlier, but here is a picture.  Is this the last thing you want your boyfriend to see before he has to go deal with supernatural shit in another town? No.  The answer is no.

hannapants

It’s no wonder that Caleb was crying all over his steering wheel.

And that’s all for episode 14!  I am sorry this week was a cop out.  See y’all soon with a full recap of episode 15.  Thanks to Wetpaint for the gif!

–Letty

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MORTIFYING MARCH CONTEST

HEY EVERYONE! 

We decided to spice things up around here. It’s still March, right? We still have 20 days left, right? Well, we want your super embarrassing  stories. We debuted our new feature, Ohmigah,  a little while back, but for the sake of alliteration we would like you to send us your most mortifying stories for the month of March (can you tell I went to a writing convention this week?).

At the end of the month Letty and I will review all submissions and select a winner. Then we’ll send that winner a cool gift box filled with goodies! Maybe you’ll win a lizard necklace, or pages ripped out of a vintage issue of Sassy (yeah right, we would never do that).

So, send your stories/ pictures/ repressed memories to us at thirtysometeen@gmail.com OR post them on our Facebook wall. Whatever. Just get them to us somehow, we’ll showcase them, AND you’ll have a chance to win something.

We’ll have some reviews up later this week, so stick around for that, too!

Later!~

-Kolleen

 

DNG S1 Ep 13: Cabaret

Kolleen: Hey kids! Sorry it took so long to get to this. Life, you know? LIFE. It just doesn’t stop happening. Anyway, let’s get right into it, since this episode brings us two episodes away from you- know- who.

Terri is at Ash’s, looking up occult websites, and rudely interrupts Ash’s piano practice to tell her about a protection chant. Terri, PLEASE don’t get mixed up with the devil. Being a teenager is hard enough. Plus, I wouldn’t trust any spell I read about on Google. Anyway, the occult stuff is creeping Ash out and she seems pretty judgey  that Terri picked that topic for her powerpoint presentation for class. She’s just “really into mystic oracles”! Leave her alone.

Ash thinks she has a song down pat– they want to win Cabaret, whatever that is.  She begins to sing really sweetly, like Sarah McLachlan or something. “Tell me how I can be/ All that you ask of me”. It sounds like a hymn, to be honest. A really boring hymn. Terri wants to pick up the pace, but Ash insists the tempo is ~just right~. Shut up, Ash. 43 seconds in and I’m already irritated by her passive- aggressive, bossy attitude.

At school, Paige confronts Terri, saying she wants to hook up for Cabaret. Terri tells her about “Two Girls and a Keyboard”, which is either her act with Ashley, a porno, or a bad NBC sitcom. Terri thinks the song is “blah” and Paige says to insist on a poppier song… and a trio. But when Ash shows  up to homeroom, Terri chickens out, to Paige’s subtle chagrin.

OMG WTF SMDH

OMG WTF SMDH

Meanwhile, Manny and Emma are trying to convince Sean to be a hunter in their environmental- themed interpretive dance. Don’t they understand anything about Sean? He’s a wind animal, a free spirit! Not a hunter wearing a leotard. Also, he doesn’t hunt. Emma is so upset. Of course, Toby volunteers eagerly to be the hunter. What a nerd.

As for Terri’s presentation, all we see is a picture of a Ouija board and all we hear is, “There are many mystical oracles, but Ouija and Tarot are  my favorite. Any questions?” Some presentation. This is the second time I’ve been disappointed in something that had evil- potential but crapped out on me. They could have had a really great subplot here. Possession, exorcism. But wait! Terri has a Ouija board and asks for a volunteer. Spinner jumps at the chance and asks if he is really a super-stud, but Mr. Simpson tells him he’s not and demands he ask a more serious question. Sick burn, Mr. S! They’re really entertaining this Ouija thing. I went to Catholic school; I don’t think I could have gotten away with this. Spinner asks the oracle what his first pet was named. The board spells out R-O-C-K-Y. The supernatural is confirmed.

U-S-U-C-K

U-S-U-C-K

Paige asks Ash if she believes in all this mumbo- jumbo and Ash says yes, because her aunt predicted her grandmother’s stroke by reading tea leaves. Seizing an opportunity to exploit Ashley’s beliefs in the supernatural, Paige conspires with Terri to get “the spirits” to make their duo a threesome. They set up a tarot reading, and ask the spirits to tell them what to do… Terri rigs the game and paige pulls the Three of Rods, which represents “creativity”. Ashley is not happy and even goes so far as to call Terri an “amateur”. None of these people are worth being friends with. Paige is pissed and Ash insists it’s never going to happen, but just as she’s about to get all smug, cute little Manny, who was earlier warned via tarot to watch herself, falls down the stairs. Total Kolleen move, by the way, her ankle just twists for no reason. I’m the world’s biggest klutz.

This was the best screencap I could get :(

This was the best screencap I could get 😦

Now Manny’s ankle is broken and she can’t be a panther. This unfortunate accident has Ash convinced, against her better judgement,  that Paige should be allowed to join. She suggests they change their name to “Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens”.  Ash suggests “Three Girls and a Keyboard”. They decide to focus on the song first, name later. Good idea. Both those names are horrendous.

Now that Manny has to be a hunter because she can’t dance, Emma tells Toby he has to do the dancing. Toby doesn’t want to, but his love for Emma trumps his burgeoning masculinity.

Paige and Terri converse in the bathroom. Paige is dressed like a stripper and is convinced they’re going to get a record deal. How far does this ‘Cabaret’ reach, exactly? She’s about to tell Terri her ideas for the song when Ash walks in. She’s not having the costume and Terri and Paige have to scheme to get her to see things their way. Terri doesn’t want to mess with the spirits anymore, so they go to Mr. Simpson and beg a synthesizer off of him. Of course he has to take a trip down dementia lane and reference his old (original Degrassi!) band, the Zoo Remedy. “We even had a video!” he says. GAWD. Old people. Anyway he does some fiddling and comes up with an 80’s rendition of the song that Terri and Ash seem to love. Then he makes this face:

"I'm hip, girls. Right??"

“I’m hip, girls. Right??”

Ash overhears them and gets really upset, regardless of the fact that Mr. Simpson didn’t erase the other version and it’s not a big deal. Paige suggests they ask the oracle. This is really dumb, you guys. Why can’t they just talk it out like normal people? Terri pulls the High Priestess card, meaning go with the new… but she hesitates, so does it REALLY mean that?? We’ll have to see (spoiler: no).

At practice, Toby and Emma keep bumping heads, literally. Is there anything more embarrassing to watch than interpretive dance, by the way? Especially when done by dorky adolescents? I am embarrassed for them. Emma cancels practice and Toby is all bummed out.

The day of the Cabaret, Ash tells the girls she did her own research and has learned that High Priestess means stay with the old! Terri says she lied because Ashley never listens to her. I don’t think Ashley is going to perform with the girls, which is good because I haven’t seen them actually practice once the entire episode.

Liberty begins the Cabaret by saying she trusts everyone will behave themselves. What a killjoy she is. Emma’s group is up first and of course, instead of immediately recycling and going vegan, everyone just laughs at them. I would, too, because I am a bully. Even Manny laughs and she’s IN the damned thing. Sean gets up and tells everyone to STFU. He’s a hero! Poor Toby.

Ash refuses to perform and warns them that the oracle is not going to be pleased. “Terri and Paige” (great name, guys) perform and everyone LOVES them. No broken bones, nothing. In the bathroom, Ash has to admit defeat, and they ask her to join the band and Paige suggests they shorted “Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens” to PMS, which Ash is grossed out by. Terri’s vote breaks the tie– should she consult the oracle? No! Her days of consulting the oracle are OVER. So she does what every normal person would do– throws her tarot cards away. UH HELLO? This makes me SO MAD. How wasteful! Good tarot cards are expensive. And Terri votes for PMS. Great.

This song legitimately lasted 4 seconds

This song legitimately lasted 4 seconds

As Toby is trying to talk to Emma post- performance , she ignores him to thank Sean and kiss him on the cheek. Toby, just stop! Find someone who isn’t rude as hell AND smitten with someone else. It’s like none of these kids have ever read Miss Manners or something.

Guys. Guys. I can’t anymore with these people. WHERE IS CRAIG? Ugh! Anyway that’s Cabaret– a lot of drama and two performances. God, what an episode. I have a headache.

Letty: I can’t believe that Degrassi hasn’t tackled the common problem of demonic possession.  I mean, I myself  have been possessed at least 5 times, it could be more, who knows, in the past year alone.  It is something that all teens face, much like unrequited love.  GET OVER IT TOBES.  I’ll be tackling next Degrassi episode, which is extremely Sean heavy.  To prepare I’ll be buying an industrial size vat of Clearasil pads.